"Ain't that a kick in the head?"

How lucky can one guy be?
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head?"

The room was completely black,
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
My life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

I've sunshine enough to spread,
It's just like the fella said
Tell me quick,
Ain't love a kick in the head?

Oh Dean baby, love ya. The spinning and grinning part could not be more accurate.

To say that my faith in men has been restored after an evening with my "special guy," would be throwing words around hoping that it could actually happen. Putting the words out into the universe without concrete evidence would be silly - it would be presumptuous. A more accurate statement would be that he is well on his way. Yes, very much so. Go him.

Every doubt and every question that I had was answered in just one evening. I did not line him up in front of a firing squad of questions, instead they came out when the conversation was appropriate and it went much better than expected. He's an incredibly honest and forthcoming person making my insecurities almost insignificant. Its a breath of fresh air to say the least. Conversation flowed and so did our smooching (he he he....). He knows when to give a compliment and he can listen - AND he can be attentive. Very. (I'll leave that one alone).

He thinks I'm shy, but what he needs to know is that I'm not used to the compliments - GOOD SOLID compliments are few and far between. Every smitten girl needs to hear a compliment. For me I'm puddy when a guy can say something I haven't heard before. There's a difference between when a guy is trying to pick you up and he tells you that you have a smokin' ass or that you are sooooooooo beautiful - that shit gets thrown around so easily and you can't put much stock in it. Come on now, the guy is obviously trying to get in your pants. Its a whole other deal though when you're snugglin' together and he can look you in the face, say those things, and truly mean it. Poetic genius as far as I'm concerned. Shit, I'm getting hot all of a sudden remembering "things he said" - gotta change the subject. Whoops! Oh Boy!

Was the evening a success? Uh yeh. Duh. I'm not sure when I'll see him again, like I've mentioned before, schedules are hard. But guess what? I'm ok with it. You all know me to be a little neurotic at times, and I'm not debating it, but I asked him point blank if he'll be around for awhile and he looked at me like lobsters were crawling out of my ears. The answer was a simple, "Of course." - (sigh) much better now.

He knows about this website, but I'm extremely reluctant to give him the website - for obvious reasons. He knows me to be an easy going, smiling, spunky individual - there is no reason for him to ever know how much pain I've endured and any struggles I've been through. The scars that are forever burned into my heart. What he can know is that I'm over all of it. I've moved on and I'm stronger and all the more wiser because of everything. If anything he's getting the better part of the deal - I'm complete, instead of a complete mess. I'm a good person and I've had a solid 5 months to heal. I'm ready to allow someone to seep into my life - slowly but surely. I think he gets it. Also, I don't think he needs to know about my recent partying - he knows how I party - he's been there remember? For crying out loud, I predicted that we would have sex one day. Yeh, we reminisced about that last night. Perhaps that's part of the appeal?

I'm cautiously optimistic and I think that's the best way to look at things. I'm definitely looking forward to what the future can bring, but I won't get ahead of myself. This time, this time around, my eyes are open, my life is free, I'm calmer and wiser - more special, less intense (well in some areas at least - wink wink). Yes, calmer, much much calmer.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This weekend was not the ass shaking booty loving adventure that Trixe and I had anticipated, however, it was still a good weekend spent with good people, good laughs and great aura. Trixie and I headed out Friday night expecting, well expecting a lot I guess. But have you ever had one of those days/evenings that no matter how hard you tried, things just did not go your way. Well. Let's put it this way - one bar in particular that we were headed to was closed. CLOSED. What fucking bar in New Jersey closes? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? You have GOT to be kidding me. Not only that, but Secaucus New Jersey can fall off the face of the earth as far as I'm concerned. We got lost for a half hour trying, desperately trying to get back on the highway. We could see the highway, but we couldn't get to it. WTF? For those of you who do not live in this area, NJ is full of U-turns and jug handles - its almost impossible to get lost on a highway and not be able to turn around. Impossible. However, we found the one stretch of land in NJ that we could not turn around. F*cking Secaucus.

So did we give up? Uh No. We put in a valiant effort to salvage the evening by visiting Dan and Rich. Two incredibly nice guys. Extremely friendly, trustworthy people....... Who were tripping on X. Unbeknownst to us, they were in fact tripping that night, which was later revealed to us the next evening when we regrouped to celebrate Trixie's birthday. Now, I've been around my share of drug users (I dated one for over a year - have your READ my blog?) and despite one or two behavioral issues, I would have to say they were fine. Completely fine. I would also like to say that they do not do drugs all that often and shouldn't be classified as druggies. More like experimentalists.

The next evening was spent at a bar/club in Hoboken (gee we've been seeing a lot of that place lately huh?). Now here's the thing and this is the EXACT reason why I want to go away for my birthday this year (February 4th - mark your calendars peeps). People tell you to your face or on the phone that they want to be with you for your birthday. They ask you incessantly about going out and doing something - yet when the time comes, they are NO WHERE to be found. Five people cancelled or went into the black abyss of nowhere when the bat calls were made. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people suck.

However, Trixie, myself, Dan and Rich still had a fabu time and I'm happy they came out to play. Hoboken itself was not its normal hopping town, but it was a good time nonetheless. Rich and I have come to the distinct conclusion that Dan has a "thing" for Trixie but apparently no one wants to listen. I'd like to say thank you to Rich though for the entertaining conversation (well at least as much of a conversation one can have with blaring music in your ear) while Trixie and Dan had sex, I mean danced. Oops.

Question guys. When you are talking to a girl in a loud atmosphere - is it hot for a girl to touch your face when she is talking in your ear? Not sure if Rich was hitting on me when he told me that or if it is indeed hot. Do tell. Info like this will help me tailor my behaviour so I do not give him the wrong vibe.

I'd also like to take a second to say Happy Birthday Trixie. Her birthday is tomorrow so come on people, send her some good birthday vibes.

And that's all I have to say right about now. I have more, but this post is long enough as is. Perhaps I'll tell you my new Ted gossip tomorrow. Big stuff, not sure how I feel about it yet. Perhaps by tomorrow I'll have something substantial to say.