Tan Lines and Red Toes

South Beach Miami......aaaahhhhh tan lines, painted red toes and a little drinky poo too.

40 straight hours - yes, I was awake from 5:24 a.m. Thursday morning and did not go to bed until sometime around 10:00 p.m. Friday night. Good shit.

Back to Thursday - Straight from the bar in New York - sometime around 2:00 a.m., Trixie and I headed back to her place to change, grab our luggage and head to a diner for a little pre-flight food. Of course our plane did not leave JFK until 6:30 a.m., but that's just a minor detail. 4:00 a.m. - picture this - Mer, drunker than drunk, Trixie, barely awake and alive - dragging our carcasses through JFK airport......We tried to sleep in the airport, but I just couldn't do it. Trixie caught a few winks in the airport and on the plane, but little ol' me just wasn't having it.

Fast forward, by 11:30 a.m. we were sitting on the beach relaxing and soaking up the rays. I have to say, this was more relaxing than my trip to Michigan. Yes, somehow in all the hussle and bussle of Miami we were able to find a way to relax. Two party animals likes us relaxed. Go figure....but we needed it.....not saying crazy times did not occur......whoa, don't go thinking that crazy shit....we still went out Friday night - but when we came back to the hotel so I could take off my god foresaken black heels, we both passed the fuck out. NO joke. Fully clothed, jewelry and make up still on - we passed out. Ok, so alcohol MIGHT have had a little something to do with it, but that's just a minor detail. I was comatose....so much so that I never heard my phone ring when my Boston buddy called to make sure I was still alive at 3:00 a.m.

I'm not going to go into a play by play of our time in Miami, but I will point out a few things. First off, if you go to Miami, fly Jet Blue. LOVE THEM. Second, if you go to Miami, go to the Shore Club and eat at Nobu. You will NOT regret it. I like sushi, but Trixie knows more about it and dear GOD it was good. LOVED IT - GO. Now. Do it. - Third, if you are in South Beach, go to a little hole in the wall called Wet Willies. - before I go into details - drinks are VERY expensive anywhere in Miami - food IS expensive - you need to know the good spots and since I love you, I'm telling you to go to this place. Pregame if you can anywhere else - otherwise you will pay $10-15 each drink. No joke. Back to Wet Willies - you can sit outside like most places, but they have two floors. Sit on the upper balcony and order a drink named, "Call a Cab" - dear mother of all that is holy. One drink has you feeling buzzed, two? - OH MY LORD - we were stumbling piss drunk SHITFACED by time we left there. Uh yeh.

After 2 drinks each, ($8 bucks each drink - total cost per person $16 - 20 with tip) - we found a little place to shake our groove thang, and shake it we did. I was so sweaty, drunk and happy....it was better than Christmas morning. I love dancing with Trixie...but anyway. Leaving there we received bracelets to go to a club with free admission with said bracelet - bingo, my type of place - Description? Hip Hop and R&B - I'm there. We stumbled on over there - 7 blocks later, we found out that that "portion" of the club was closed and there was a $20 cover to get in the other portion. Now at any other time I would have paid the cover happily, but I walked 7 blocks in 4 inch heels, I was retarded beyond belief and I wasn't havin' it. Nope. Not doin' it - plus...the people on line were lacking......seriously unfortunate individuals. Sorry. Nope.

Trixie and I trudged back to the hotel, singing and flashing each other.....good times. Did I mention we were dirty little birds wearing white skirts and no panties. Ha ha ha ha......good times. LOVE IT!!!!! Of course this is normal for me, but going commando is new to her and I think I might have created a monster. I love my guuuurrrllll....

All in all Miami was a great time. We're even thinking of going back during the "in" season for my birthday. I'm inviting you all. If we do in fact go back in February - I am inviting you there. We'll party like its 1999 - promise.

I'm hoping to have some pictures today or tomorrow and I'll post them soon. Its still good to be back though. I missed you and were thinking about you. Not really, but it sounded good.