Never Again

I'm never drinking again. Not only do I feel like ass right now, I think I'm still drunk. It's 7:00 am and I'm at work. This blows. Let me explain. My day job is somewhat important. I'm an Executive Secretary at a pretty prestigious place. I work for someone who makes this institution tick in a quality assurance capacity - the awards we have won are mainly due to him and I'll leave it at that. So here I am, still drunk and VERY puffy eyed. The cool thing is, he gets that. If I told him I was hungover, he'd laugh because he's awesome like that, its just that I don't want it to come it.

The funny thing is, I didn't even want to go out. I didn't feel like socializing or being "on". You know what I mean by "on" right? I didn't want to put up a front that I was ok because I'm not. I'm hurting so much and when people asked me where (we'll call him Ted) was, I wanted to cry. But one of my closest friends told me I had to go. Chris loves to play the guilt card and he made me promise to go. If I hadn't gone, then I would be labeled a complete asshole for at least the remainder of the weekend. I say that because Chris doesn't stay offended for long - he fucking rocks like that.

Actually let me tell you a little about Chris because I'll be referring to him a lot. Chris and I met when I was the assistant coach for our company's softball team. I was married and he didn't exactly know how to take me. Here I was, an attractive female who was very outgoing and a ball of fun - not to toot my own horn, but toot toot because I fucking rock like that. Anyway, we stayed pretty good acquaintances becuase Chris is a little old school and being friends with a woman who is married was a no no. But that's ok because I got divorced. Once I was divorced, he became one of my most endeared friends and I trust this kid more than anyone else I know. I have never ever had a bad time in his presence - from concerts to sporting events, its always a good time when we hang. In addition to being mad cool, Chris gives me the best sound advice and he always puts it to me in a way that doesn't hurt my feelings. He sets me straight and I love him for it. We've had some really good times together and he'll forever be MY wing man.

All in all, last night was a lot of fun, but I gotta tell ya, I'm a two beer queer and I totally surpassed that by a 300% margin. To say I was retarded last night would be an understatement and I hope I remember this so it doesn't happen again - at least not in the near future.

I'm going to go now and get some food so when I puke again at least something will come up this time. Thanks Chris for making me go out - again - the drunken debachary we always seem to find and/or create was a good time to be filed away in our history together.