Blah

Sorry I have been so absent. I had Friday off for a ski trip with B - which was awesome. At first we were a little wary because the weather called for rain in the morning, yet that did not deter B, Al and myself from the 2 1/2 hour ride there. By time we got there, got dressed and were ready for the slopes, the rain had subsided and we were ready to go. Nice.

It was a great day for so many reasons too. First off, B and Al are better skiers than myself, but they took care of me the whole day. Don't get me wrong, I can ski, just not as fast as them - its been about 3 years since I last skied so I did rather well. I did every black diamond and double black diamond they did and they seriously were like two body guards the whole day. Also, they didn't treat me like a girl and even played up the pranks and crap like that - nothing was off limits and I laughed all day long. Nice. Second, it was awesome to hang out with people I don't normally chill with. I didn't want the day to end that's how much fun I had. It was a nice change of pace for sure. But all good things must come to an end - B had a dinner date later on that day and I think Al was implying to hang out that evening - which would have been cool as hell, but I wasn't about to give him the wrong idea. No way.

This brings me to my next point. I'm done - no more dating right now. Sure if someone asks, that's cool and I'll give it a go, but other than that - I'm not on the lookout and I'm not putting out the vibe. I just can't do it anymore. The actual date isn't the problem, its telling the guy that it won't work out that has me rethinking stuff. I've had to do this a lot lately and I don't like it. In fact I hate it. How do you tell a guy that he's really cool, but you don't think it will work? They don't believe you, they think you are feeding them a line and all of a sudden, you are the enemy.

Oh well. I'm a little stressed too because my life might be changing with this talk about moving to Atlanta. Its all very preliminary still, but its looking like everyone will be moving leaving me to make my decision. Not sure what I'll do, but I'm trying not to think about it until it happens.

And I'm not sure if its my illness (woke up sick on Saturday and spent the last three days in bed), but I could really use a hug and a kiss and an "everything will be alright" just about now. No arms to crawl into, no chest to lean my head upon. So sad.

I'm so blah today - so very blah about it all. Life is going on all around me and I just want to go back to bed and sleep some more. Yuk.