Great Debates

Massage or Brazilian Wax

Recently I came upon a gift certificate that I have yet to use. It expires in November.....(Good job Mer). I'm one of those people who hordes things, not quite a pack rat because I do know how to let things go, however, when I have something nice, I use it very very wisely. I like to contemplate it and make sure I'm choosing to use it for the right thing. I hate being left feeling like I made a bad choice. Anyway....

Now I'm left with this certificate for I think about $75 or $100, I can't remember, I was just happy to find it. I have a plethura of things that I can have done to my body, but what would be more advantageous? I have debates for the two items that I have narrowed it down to.

The massage.

I don't like people I don't know touching me. Strangers rubbing up against me in the elevator freaks me out, like I need to decontaminate or something - perhaps its not that extreme, but it still urkes me and you get the idea.

Also, sometimes they hurt. When I had my very first massage done on my honeymoon, the woman hurt me - I was like "Ouch! That hurt!" - for the better part of the massage. She kept digging her fingers into my calf and I wanted to punch her in her big round head. Dumb broad. And then she touched my naked butt. So not cool. Now as someone who doesn't like to be touched (I like to be touched, don't get me wrong, just not by strangers), this did not leave me in the good graces of any masseuse. But I digress.

I have had other massages, the main one being a back massage that I had done during the height of my back problems and I loved it. I told the woman specifically what was bothering me and it was very very nice. This is the ONLY reason why I would get this same massage again. My back has been bothering me a lot lately and I thought this might help. However, the comfort and luxury only lasts a short while and then I'm left spending the dough and still feeling tense.

The Brazilian Wax

For you ignoramuses I will explain what a Brazilian Wax is. Its a bikini wax kicked up a notch. Only with the Brazilian, EVERYTHING is waxed down in the private sector. Back to front - gone. I used to get these done on a regular basis, but as my relationship continued and things began to dwindle I stopped. Also, that shit's expensive.

Second bad thing, it grows back, its not permanent. I'm not a hairy person, I'm Italian, yet my arms are bare - go figure, so the average wax lasts me a little longer and that's a good thing. However, I don't have anyone to share it with. Now I know a few of you would gladly volunteer, but that's ok I'll pass. Really. Its ok.

But the Brazilian is hot. No doubt about it, its hot. Still, no one to share it with.

Which do I choose? I have no idea. A massage that doesn't last long or a wax that no one will see? Then again I'm headed to Boston in two weeks, perhaps I'll get lucky there and surprise some strapping young lad.......AAaaahhhhhhh (squealing laughter).

Ho hum and fiddly dee, decisions decisions.