Friday, April 11, 2008

I quit.

Today was most certainly quite an interesting day.

I quit my job.

I've always had a touch of an impulsive side, but I've surpressed that to make sure I kept those types of decisions for emergencies only. Although this wasn't a case that involved physical harm of any sort, my sanity was in dire need of help and I simply allowed myself the the impulse.

I hate my job. Waitressing is good assuming you work at the right place. It SUCKS MONKEY BALLS if you work at a place that is slowly but surely going down the turd infested toilet hole. It's also good if the people you work with have somewhat of an idea what professionalism is. Perhaps I put too much faith in the general couth of fellow waiters and management in the food industry. My bad.

And don't even get me started on sexual harrassment... and I'm not talking about patrons.

Anyway, today I woke up in a bit of pain. I have back issues and due to the load of books I commute with on the daily combined with waitressing, it's been giving me issues. Long story short, I wasn't in the mood this morning. So when I get to work and they changed my schedule, yet again, it was the last straw. I'd had it. That was it. Done. Finite. No mas.

I won't get into the legistics of this whole scenario, but let's put it this way, I know I'm better than that, therefore, I know I can DO better than that. I immediately left, got in my car, and sought a new job. Cross your fingers but I think I already got a job at an art store close to home.

The problem I've had these last few months though is the fact that I can't work in an office right now because my schedule is too friggin crazy with classes. I have to find something only on the weekends. In addition, the art store is the same place I shop at for class and I've always thought it would be a neat place to work. I figure I'm not worse off than I was at the restaurant. At least I know I'll make "X" amount of dollars every weekend. I mean I didn't even make $100 last weekend. PA-THET-IC.

Hhhmm....what else can I tell you???

As for my honey. He's ok. He listened to me today complain about work and the reasons why I left and he was understanding and supportive....once again. He's good like that and a main factor why I'm still with him. Actually it will be a year come Memorial Day weekend. Nice right? Right now if I get this new job I doubt I'll be able to take off work to see him around the end of May, as well as the wedding he invited me to in June. As much as I would love to do both, I can't. It's going to be hard to decide which trip to take. If I see him in the end of May, then I'll see him for 10 days. If I go up in June for the wedding, I'll be back in classes and will only get 3 days with him (but I'll see my Jersey friends too).

Although long distance works for me right now, it's stupid decisions like this that make it tough. Not sure if that makes sense, but I feel like I need to be really picky about the time I spend with him. I want to maximize time exposure with him because in a few years one of us has to make "the move" and I don't want ANY surprises. Ya know? Of course this is assuming that we even last that long. I'm optimistic, but a realist.

Other than that, I'm a little lonely lately. Not in the romantic sense, although I could use a little chakka chakka with my man....I mean I miss the companionship of my friends. It wasn't any one person, even though a few stick out. I simply miss all there was to do and all those people to do it with. I contemplate going back when school is over. I know I will certainly look into it and send my resume up North. One thing i've learned, everything is worth a shot.

Alright well I gotta run and do some homework if I can get motivated enough. I feel like that is all I do is work and school. Oh right...that IS all I do.

Til next time....

Friday, March 21, 2008

Guess Who's Back? Back Again????

So um….I think I’m back.

I know…I know. I’ve said this before, but I really miss it. I forgot that when I started this here blog it was because I felt alone. But this time I feel alone for a different and more positive reason. A foreign and new reason. I’m not love sick, heartbroken, or down and out. I’m making moves in my life…and I’m not talking just figuratively.

Jersey Girl moved to Atlanta, enrolled at GSU full time and will be receiving her degree (knock on wood), next summer. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing it. I’m living it, I’m being it, not dreaming it anymore.

Not impressed yet?

I’m dating someone good. Real good to me so far and guess what????....this relationship works for me.

Talk about change right? He lives in another state so he’s not muddling up my school schedule, taking my mind off what I have to get done here. At first it was a motivating factor to dating him, I knew there was no way I could allow a man to stop me, ever again so him not being in the same zip code sweetened the pot. Like I said, it works for me and that's all I can ask for because I’m so far into this goal of mine that when I stop to think about it, I swear it baffles me. I mean to think that it all started a few years ago as a mere passing daydream.

There is something to be said though about daydreams. If there is one thing I have learned in the last year, its that if you’re going to dream…..dream big. I am almost convinced that I’m on my way to accomplishing big things for myself just because I’ve gotten this far. Because I allowed myself to believe I could do it if I tried....I believed in myself.

It’s an absolutely wonderful feeling. I can’t describe it to you unless you’ve either tasted the same feeling or are guilty of actually achieving such goals.

I’ll go even FURTHER and state, that all those people that go on Oprah, (and I don’t care who the fuck you are, you’ve watched her and you know what she’s about). These everyday people, and even the “guru’s” go on her show to talk about great vast changes they made to their lives to achieve pretty substantial “WOW” factor goals. Well I’m believing in what they say. I believe it all. I’m sold. It’s all true, one small step leads to another small step and those steps make it up the stairs. I swear. It’s that’s simple. I can vouch for them.

HOLY SHIT!!! I sound like an infomercial. Alright I’ll stop, but yeh, I’m a believer.

Anyway, I’m a different lonely nowadays. I’m so busy with school and work that it gets lonely. I need to look for ways to deal with it again. I used to write to this blog daily and I’m going to try to start doing it again because it helped so much the first time. I have to admit though, I’m so out of it that I don’t even know if its still cool to write to a blog…..but I digress. This is for me remember? Who cares if anyone ever reads it again…..