Monday, February 09, 2009

Shit.

Can we talk?

Let me say what I gotta say and then we'll be good.

I walk around here and get hit on or "looks" from 90% of the men in this place. Hell I've turned down half the team. But that's all ok and easily dealt with because I expect it. It's a fact of life in this field and it rolls right off of me like water on feathers; no problem.

And to some extent I'm even ok with what you said. You were drinking. I get it. Basically everyone was having a good time. Men usually confess such things, and this is no isolated incident.. But it's what you said right before that that eats at me. "I can't hire you because."

What is that??? I've been begging you for the chance to prove to you that I am smart and that I am capable. I've told you that you need to know that I can write a coherent thought and I am in fact a competent individual. Those…those words sliced me in two!

I was upset for a minute and then I realized that you needed to know something.

Perhaps I don't know adversity the way you know it. I'm not the first African American in your position and of your stature. I do know that I am a divorced woman. I do know that I can't have children. I know that I was once in a relationship with an abusive alcoholic. But I survived them. And it might have taken me 12 years, but I graduate this summer, paid for by yours truly. So if this IS a dead end, I will find another route to get my ass into the profession of my dreams because in a long line of stepping stones to where I want to be….this is only a pebble. I hope you understand that.

I've said my peace and we're good now.

I will leave you though, with a word of advice. Texting an apology is not only a bad publicity move when trying to avoid real trouble, but evidence. Be careful next time.