Friday, March 21, 2008

Guess Who's Back? Back Again????

So um….I think I’m back.

I know…I know. I’ve said this before, but I really miss it. I forgot that when I started this here blog it was because I felt alone. But this time I feel alone for a different and more positive reason. A foreign and new reason. I’m not love sick, heartbroken, or down and out. I’m making moves in my life…and I’m not talking just figuratively.

Jersey Girl moved to Atlanta, enrolled at GSU full time and will be receiving her degree (knock on wood), next summer. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing it. I’m living it, I’m being it, not dreaming it anymore.

Not impressed yet?

I’m dating someone good. Real good to me so far and guess what????....this relationship works for me.

Talk about change right? He lives in another state so he’s not muddling up my school schedule, taking my mind off what I have to get done here. At first it was a motivating factor to dating him, I knew there was no way I could allow a man to stop me, ever again so him not being in the same zip code sweetened the pot. Like I said, it works for me and that's all I can ask for because I’m so far into this goal of mine that when I stop to think about it, I swear it baffles me. I mean to think that it all started a few years ago as a mere passing daydream.

There is something to be said though about daydreams. If there is one thing I have learned in the last year, its that if you’re going to dream…..dream big. I am almost convinced that I’m on my way to accomplishing big things for myself just because I’ve gotten this far. Because I allowed myself to believe I could do it if I tried....I believed in myself.

It’s an absolutely wonderful feeling. I can’t describe it to you unless you’ve either tasted the same feeling or are guilty of actually achieving such goals.

I’ll go even FURTHER and state, that all those people that go on Oprah, (and I don’t care who the fuck you are, you’ve watched her and you know what she’s about). These everyday people, and even the “guru’s” go on her show to talk about great vast changes they made to their lives to achieve pretty substantial “WOW” factor goals. Well I’m believing in what they say. I believe it all. I’m sold. It’s all true, one small step leads to another small step and those steps make it up the stairs. I swear. It’s that’s simple. I can vouch for them.

HOLY SHIT!!! I sound like an infomercial. Alright I’ll stop, but yeh, I’m a believer.

Anyway, I’m a different lonely nowadays. I’m so busy with school and work that it gets lonely. I need to look for ways to deal with it again. I used to write to this blog daily and I’m going to try to start doing it again because it helped so much the first time. I have to admit though, I’m so out of it that I don’t even know if its still cool to write to a blog…..but I digress. This is for me remember? Who cares if anyone ever reads it again…..