Sunday, April 24, 2005

Sunday Mornings

I'm 28 and I love watching MTV and VH1. The demographic isn't aimed toward me yet I can't help it, I love watching MTV. Strange Love with Flava Flav and Bridget Neilson - well that's just a trainwreck and I love watching Trainwrecks. I love watching the social awkwardness that they create, the havoc that they promote. Its friggin great to watch these two.

I have to admit though, since I've been working two jobs - that's right folks, I work two jobs, I haven't been watching too much tv. As Sunday is m only day off, I love to veg out and catch up on marathons. Oh I love the marathons on MTV and VH1. I love watching episode after episode of America's Top Model, or Real Life. Its like when sit and watch it during the regularly scheduled time and they tease you with what's on next week - just wait 2 minutes and voila - you have the next episode. Instant Gratification.

I spent the night alone last night. My boyfriend of sorts was at a friends house while I worked and I didn't want to pick him up. I loved it. I came home for work, got comfortable, drank some wine, and just relaxed the way I like to relax. No one was there to break my concentration. No one to worry about. Just me myself and I. It was wonderful. I got to watch tv without worrying what he wanted to watch. I was able to drink wine without worrying if he was going to want some - because he always does.

Yes he has somewhat of a drinking problem. He doesn't see it as one, but I do. I know better. I know what is normal and he's not. I don't want to be with him anymore and he's knows it. I want to be his friend though because I do honestly value his friendship. But I don't see this going the distance. I don't see us being together forever. I don't have the heart to tell him that so I'm waiting it out. I'm chicken shit. But I've been through it all with him and I know his reaction. He's looking for an apartment - maybe not as intense I would like him to, but he's looking nonetheless. I hope its soon. I hope that one of these days I'll be able to live my life the way I want to. Sitting here at my computer on a Sunday morning, pouring my heart out to unknown individuals while watching ET on Mtv.

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