How is everyone on this fine festive Monday morning?
That good huh?
Well I can't complain. Had meself a three day weekend thanks to the ass blowout of 2005 Thursday night. Trixie and I went out to eat after my haircut Thursday at Applebee's. I know - fine place right? Anyway, we wanted something fast, but we didn't want a diner, we also didn't want to spend a ton of money because we were going out after dinner to get our drink on. That just was not in the stars for Mer. Nope. Whatever was in that salad did the coocaracha on my intestines and I was homeward bound for the night. Enough said.
Even if it hadn't snowed on Friday, I think I would have stayed home due to this little illness and well.....also because I just didnt' want to go to work.
The remainder of the weekend really wasn't all that eventful. Yesterday I went out to a bar in Hoboken to watch the games. GO Giants and Patriots!!!!
Ok now you know how I've said this before, I don't get picked up in bars....at least not by men close to my age. Normally its by guys who are like 22-24 - although tempting, I don't bother.
I didn't get hit on once. Not twice. Not even three times. I think I set my own personal best at four yesterday - two of which actually got my 411. Nice.
First, let me start by saying that when I walked into that bar, men were so far from my mind. Seriously. I had NO intentions of meeting anyone, in fact, I was cursing men out in my mind thinking that dating just was not for me, because it really isn't. I hate it. I hate it so much that I think I sabotage relationships because I'm so uncomfortable. Its like this inevitable factor that I will some how fuck it up. Also, Ted called me that morning just to say hi and somehow we got in a fight. What is that? Apparently he thinks my life is in a downward spiral, but I'm in the middle of it right now and that's why I can't recognize it. I'm not living my life, I'm living everyone else's life and when I fall down, he'll still help me back up. THEN he tells me he can't talk to me anymore. Let's back up. I told him already I can't be his friend. I told him I'm dating now and I view it as a conflict. I told him that I was uncomfortable being his friend....so tell me. Where's the loss? Puuuhhhlease. I didn't get upset, I didn't get mad, I was just thoroughly agitated. Can we say delusional?
Anyway, Samantha, her man, Trixie and I headed out yesterday to watch the games. I guess because I wasn't "looking" per say, that I did finally meet a few men worth talking to and perhaps even going on a date with. But let's recap here. Mer has no good luck with men. I'm convinced. One guy lives in Washington D.C., his name was Ed. Ed was nice, he was cute in an older man cute fastion and he has a real job. He monitors - that's right MONITORS, software for the government. WTF? Can we say CIA or KGB? That would be my luck, but hey, I'm down for a little adventure and he was courteous and nice - nothing thrilling, very safe. I see a flash of our future together and I see a 4 bedroom home, two car garage, 2.1 kids. You get the idea. But again....he lives in Washington D.C. - not exactly a stone throws away.
Then there was Shane. Shane and all his buddies were in the crowded bar having a great ol' time when I come walking through their little intricate circle stopping them in mid-conversation. Not my fault, they were blocking my way. Anyway, somehow I get pulled into a picture of theirs, a picture turns into hello's, the hello's turn into a drink, the drink turns into shots - you know.....the norm. Shane was very....I mean....very, handsome. He's 34 and he's worked for the same company as a sales agent for 10 years. He lives about 20 minutes from me and already he wants to take me out. Not a problem - but already he wanted to completely make out with me. How do I know? He told me. Yep, after talking all afternoon and throwing flirty glances, this guy said to me - looked me square in the eye and told me - "I want to kiss you so bad. I just want to kiss your face.....I want to kiss you all over." -GOOD GOD - what is that all about!!!! These things don't happen to Mer. He kept hugging me and kissing my cheek, my forehead - anywhere he could place his lips in the realm of my face he did.....and yet I allowed it. What is wrong with me???
Of course I blew a lot of it off, I mean come on - we were in a bar!!! How serious CAN I take it if I'm meeting a guy in a bar of all places. - But the kicker is this....two of his buddies (can't be that good of friends), told me on the aside (separately of course) that if Shane didn't take my number, they would like to be second in line. Apparently men can be caddy too. I found this hysterical and a great ego booster too. Come on, everyone can use a little ego boosting every once in a while. Keeps us healthy.
So I guess I did well yesterday. I have more to say, but no caffeine yet and I fear that only an 1/8 of this post is coherent so I'm going to stop now.
But I'm sure you are wondering to yourselves, "what about Robbie?" - yeh well you see, I'm sure Robbie would have been great, but until March, his life is tied up in hockey working for both the Devils and the Rangers and I'm not about to pine for a guy who I'm only going to see every so often. He would be my numero uno choice, but I can't put life on hold for him. Just can't do it captain. When he calls I'll talk, but I won't put any stock into him. It happens.