Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Personally, I think Heath Ledger is absolutely dreamy. I mean come on, look at him! And I could really give a flying fig if he plays a gay dude in the new movie Brokeback Mountain - it doesn't matter, I'd still jump on his head.

Originally I only shared a mild interest in this movie. I thought to myself when I first saw the preview a few weeks ago, "Humph. Looks interesting and I bet he'll be damn good in it, but no one is going to want to see it with me so I'll wait for the DVD." To be honest though, all this Oscar buzz certainly has me mulling it over to go see it alone. Hell, I just might have to go and see it this weekend.

Oh Heath - I heart you.

I loved him in The Brother's Grimm. The story itself was cute and there were some funny parts to it, but it dragged and it could have been better. However, he certainly stole the show, he's a phenominal actor and I hope he gets the Oscar nod. Ooooooo, but he's also going to be staring in Casanova due out at the end of the month.

One word: Yum.

Actually this weekend I was so upset (not over men, just about life in general), that I went to the movies alone. I've never done that before and you know what? I LOVED it. I really really did. I had no one talking to me during the movie, I got to sit where I wanted, I had my own popcorn....everything. It was marvelous. So perhaps I'll do it again this weekend.


I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was actually a little down on myself - I was wearing the whole self pity thing - apparently its a good color for me right now. I'm not upset about men - nope, not at all. I'm actually getting very used to being alone and I'm liking it more and more after each date I go on. I guess it happens when you start to get discouraged by what's out there.

Anyway, I'm feeling down because for all my talk and all my complaining, my life is still the same. This is the first time I don't have anything driving me or motivating me toward some sort of goal. I'm not taking any classes toward my degree, I'm not following the whole acting thing, I'm living at home, I'm barely excercising right now.....what is wrong with me? Do I have the winter blues? The holiday upsets? Not sure.

I know I'll snap out of it soon enough, but it just hit me pretty hard this weekend....mostly Monday though. Monday was a tough day for me. I'm feeling like I'm digging my way out, but the dirt keeps piling in. Its a never ending battle sometimes. I'm a survivor so I'm sure I'll be fine.

One thing I did do that made me feel better - I pampered my mother a little last night. I went out and bought a fantastic dinner for her and myself. I cooked it, I cleaned up afterward and I even fixed a few things she needed done. She's been waiting for my father to help her with some stuff and its been taking forever. She was so happy to spend time alone with me and just chill out. I love my mom and she deserved it. Between my grandmother and my father my mother is completely exhausted so I was happy to do anything I could for her last night.

Good stuff.

Anywho, I've gotta run now and get some java for this little little one. Thanks once again for stopping in and listening to me drone on about my pathetically boring drivel. Have a great day and bundle up because its fucking cold out there!


anne arkham said...

Aww. . .sweet about your mom.

NCTRNL said...

It's about time you welcome the singleness. Going to movies alone is awesome...