Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Date Night

How ironic is that the guy I choose to post a picture of on this site, I have a date with tonight? What is that? I poke fun at him sending a cheesy photo and I get a date? Go figure.

Actually he's a pretty funny dude - the caption under that same photo says, "How's my hair?" - come on, that was good....he gets props. However, my gut tells me that this date won't go any further. Why? Because when we email its a lot of fun, he's very funny and very quick whitted, but when we spoke on the phone, it was a little forced. Conversation didn't flow like I thought it would - and I felt like he was doing something - like putting away clothes or reading mail. Not sure. My other reason that has me on the fence is he was eager to meet me, which in itself is ok, but there was something a little "off" about it. Like he was really eager and I don't like that....it makes me suspicious already.

Am I being completely gay about this? (yes).

I dont know, I'm a little nervous about the whole thing. Its like a blind date of sorts. In a way I want him to cancel to take away the jitters....but then there is that fear of rejection. I hate rejection. It scares me. I think that's why I've always dated someone that I already knew. I already know what they are like without any pretentions - and then when we start dating, all the better. I've got a friend who I'm intimate with. Isn't that what we all ultimately want anyway?

Gosh I hate dating. I cried last night.....it was one of those moments that had me thinking about my past and it made me sad. I know I'm doing ok, I'm doing just fine and I'm happy I'm getting back in the saddle again, but it scares the piss out of me. I've never dated before....watch...I become a pro and start giving advice............Not a bad idea.

2 comments:

The Other Guy said...

ah, you're doing what?

NCTRNL said...

Well, let's hear it. How did it go?