Monday, January 16, 2006

Lovely

This my friend could be the start of a beautiful relationship. I don't know how else to begin other than tell you that Jake is really growing on me and I think I might be able to get used to him being around for a long time.

This my friends is big news.

I'm extremely reluctant to say things like that. I'm very wary of any man permeating my defense lines, but at the same time, how can I not? He is unquestionably the nicest guy I've dated WITHOUT being a complete dud or an utter dweeb. He's a manly man with nice big hands and a heart to match. He respects me, he treats me well, he's cute, he's funny, he makes good money and he has manners. His favorite quote, "Its all about Mer." He's tells me things like that all the time - without it sounding creepy. Bonus. He also treats me like a princess without having to shower me with gifts - I am for him a found treasure.

How can you turn that away? How can I not find his behavior endearing?

I was extremely honest with him last weekend and I told him point blank that I did not know what I was capable of or where this could all lead and he could not have handled the whole situation any better. Without having to explain myself and be the ditzy broad we all know I can be, he gets me. He knows my space without me telling him to back off. I like it.

I like it a lot.

I find that I don't have to justify myself at all because he has no expectations and is only thankful for what little time we do spend together. Its all new and fresh and we enjoy one another. Its very nice - but at the same time unnerving.

But why Meredith? Why would it be unnerving?

Because so many other times I've gotten my hopes up and I've even gone far enough to try and talk myself into something that wasn't. This time around I don't feel that way and I like it. Yes I still have my stupid ass little voice saying things in the back of my mind, but for now she's hushed up and given Big Mer a chance to be happy.

Its lovely, just like the name he calls me. Yes, my nickname is Lovely. It was B (B is the first initial of my very Italian last name), but after this weekend he's come to call me Lovely. I like it because its original.

And he passed the true test, my sister and mother love him. I know this because they aren't ramming their ideas into my head. They left well enough alone - the only comment I got from my sister was, "Keep him. He's normal." So I guess its two thumbs up for Jake.

Yay. About time right?

Let's hope things continue to go well and continue on the up and up because he makes me feel like I'm 16 again. I feel like a gitty school girl when I'm around him. So not me. SOOOOOO not me. I can't get over it and I continue to not analyze it - wow, that in itself is a HUGE deal. Right? I mean for those of you who have been reading this drivel for awhile know that I find something wrong with everything - and sure he's got faults, but they aren't big ones. I hope he stays perfect in my mind's eye. Wait, perhaps I should pray I stay perfect in his!!!

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