Yesterday I was in a god awful mood, truth be told, I'm still in a funk. I know I'll get out of it, its got to do with my monthly coming next week (female readers understand, male readers just cringed). I get like this, my mood swings back and forth, to and from, in and out of good and bad. It has no effect on those around me, because I'm genuinely a happy person, but inwardly - I want to jump off a bridge due to frustration. You guys know this because I talk to you more than I talk to my mother and best friends - you guys know my trials and tribulations - the stupid hardships I put on myself - but no one else does. Not the deep stuff anyway.
That's kind of sad right?
Anyway, yesterday I was very upset with my friend and I'm still very upset. Something dawned on me that has me feeling a little down and reconsidering how much I really want to hang with her. This could be COMPLETE coincidence, but its not the first time this has happened. See, she dates more than one guy at a time - kind of trying them all on like shoes. She tests them out, tries them on, takes a little walk, wears them down and then somehow, they disappear.....on their own, but I digress.
There she is, dating like 3 guys and talking to another - all at once, meanwhile, I'm just bustling along doing my own thing when low and behold I meet Jake. I like Jake. He likes me. We go on a few dates, we talk every night - everything is moving along like clockwork and Mer is finally content to date. Someone has finally broken through to the other side. (collective sigh of relief). He might not be my ideal, but he makes me happy, he treats me well and he's most definitely worth the try.
After saying that, all of sudden, she has someone that she's doing all this cutsey stuff with as well. Now I don't know if this is pure coincidence, but she's just THAT insecure to follow suit and start a relationship at the same time so she is not left out. Gotta remember, she has a few men to choose from, although the three she was "dating" (I use that term loosely), all of a sudden all stop pursuing her and she has this new guy she's only been "talking" to. (GOD I FEEL LIKE HIGH SCHOOL), and immediately she wants to meet him. It becomes this big ordeal and now, she's in a relationship with him - in one week. Uh, yeh.
Anywho, I'm happy I finally have someone to be happy about - finally someone to do relationship stuff with, someone to look forward to seeing - someone to be giddy about. Normally your friends are happy for you. Normally when you tell them about your new guy, they ask questions, they want to hear more, they are genuinely happy for you. Can I tell you that on Saturday night after spending 24+ hours with Jake, she never - I mean NEVER once asked me how he was, how my time spent with him was or anything. NOTHING.
Now in the last few days I got very excited about him coming to visit me for a change. I was thrilled to show him around, take him to a restaurant by me, you know, bring him into my world. Let him experience my life. I stuck my foot in my mouth by telling her he was coming and that we should get Samantha and Nicole to come out as well. Because now - its all about her bringing her guy out and showing him off as well.
CHILDISH - I KNOW!!!!!
I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it is - but for once in a very very long time I'm excited about something and here she is - stealing my thunder. Perhaps not on purpose, but for once, I'd like to have something of my own. I want it about me and Jake, not about her. Why would any of us think it was special to meet her new guy when she goes through men like Kleenex? I'm so tempted to cancel the whole thing and just make it a night between myself and Jake. I'm SO tempted....but I've involved Samantha and her man, I don't want to do that to Samantha. Plus I want Samantha to hang out with Jake and experience him as well. I want everyone to feel happy about Jake like I do.
Jake is slated to come by on Saturday at some point and then that evening him and myself will be going to dinner and then to meet up with everyone later on. And guess what - her plans are the same now too. What is that? Her guy lives a little far and guess what? He's coming to her place, picking her up, taking her to dinner and then - gasp - they are meeting up with everyone later on as well. Shocker right? I've had to listen to her yammer on about it and I can't do it. I just can't.
GOD I'M CRANKY TODAY!!!
I'll get over it. I know I will. At first I thought it was just a consiperacy theory of mine, but the more I write, the more I believe. I need to speak to Samantha about this because if she agrees, then I know I'm right and not going crazy making up absurd stories. Sammy has known her since high school - she's the expert.
Last night though, when Jake called me I was really worried about my bad mood. I was worried that I might come off cranky on the phone and snap a little. But you know what? When he called me, I smiled and I couldn't help but laugh and kid around with him. I couldn't be in a bad mood if I tried. Add to the fact that he let me talk about it like an objective friend and not someone who is just smitten with me was a definite bonus. He's a good egg. I guess that's one of the true tests of like....he made me smile despite a crappy mood and he was there for me even though it was stupid and insignificant.
P.S. - he called me as I was retouching this post......damn he's got a sexy voice!!!!!! I can't wait to jump on his head Saturday. Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!