Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Maneater Misconception

This is the post I did for my MySpace account (blog). I'm sending a message to someone for being an idiot. Enjoy.


A big misconception about me is that I am some piranah maneating woman who uses men like Kleenex.

So not the case.

Yes, I've been on a few dates since my inception into the dating world back in November- definitely more than 5, but less than 10. Isn't that how dating is supposed to go? Aren't you supposed to put yourself out there? Its like the lotto - "You've got to be in it to win it." Am I wrong?

But, if you are a friend of mine then you know that I had not one, but TWO bad dates as a result of MySpace - not that I expect each and every one to be wonderful, but I do expect people to act human...but I digress.

Where was I? Oh right - misconceptions about me. I might seem a little hard and cynical, some would even say "committment phobic," but I'm actually just all about not wasting anyone's time. If I don't think we have a true connection, then I'm certainly not going to waste your time or mine. Personally, I think that's the best way to handle things - be honest. Gee, there's a new concept....

Listen, I've been hurt, I've been run through the mill and its hard to open up again. Especially as we get older because we're more cautious about our decisions and how they'll affect our lives. For those of us with structured lives, its hard to deviate from the norm. But unlike before, I am now willing to put my best foot forward. Yes I can now make that statement, I am willing to allow someone in....problem is, how hard will it be to find someone worthwhile?

I'm not being conceited, I'm just proud of who I am. I think I deserve someone who is going to give back what I put in. Its hard to trust after the pain, its hard to let anyone in and be more than a friend. In the past year I can honestly say I've surrounded myself with good friends. People who will be here 15 years from now...how do I know? I don't, but I can't imagine my girls not being in my life. My point is, I have enough friends, its time to allow a man in.

Its kind of funny too because my best guy friend actually asked me what I wanted...you would think he would know this, but he's one of the people who has this preconceived notion that I'm looking for perfection. That's bullshit. I know I am FAR from perfection, I have my issues just like everybody else, so I would be a complete and utter twit to believe that perfection exists beyond the realm of my own eyes and my own heart.

For everyone, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. For me perfect would not be perfect for you. Of course you're wondering what that perfection might be like - well hell, if I knew that, I'd have an itemized list posted on my profile!

I'm rather open, its a helluva lot easier than you think. I don't need to stick to any "one" type - yet another misconception about me. I actually have a friend who will point guys out and say, "Oh he's sooo your type." Really? Well then, since you know my type, gather a few good men around me, and lets do a mass interview shall we?

I can tell you though, that I would "prefer" someone who likes to do stuff, who isn't all about being a couch potato. Someone who enjoys sports and sporting events - it would help if he likes the same teams, but I'm not that picky....I welcome the debates that would ensue. And he can't have any hang ups about drugs and alcohol...and I'm not just talking about AA here, it goes both ways. Don't get down on me because I can put down a few. He would also like to read, but that's not a must, and he'd be funny - ok that one, I can't bend on - you've GOT to be funny. And even if he isn't cultured in art, music, photography and wine - he'd be willing to at the very least welcome it into his life because it is an important part of mine.

Other than that, its all up in the air. I don't know who is right for me - if I did, I don't think my last two relationships would have ended the way they did. I'm open to all things new. There, that's another misconception, I'm not stuck in my ways, I'm extremely outgoing and I'll try just about anything. If I dont' think there will be a connection, I won't waste our time. Perhaps that's why people view me as a maneater? Because I'm honest enough to not let it get too far? Or is that misconstrued as fear of committment? Not sure, I guess now that I know I am ready to allow love into my life, I'll have to figure this out as time marches on. I am in no rush, but I do want it, I do want love and a relationship - another misconception about me


Anonymous said...

You're cultured in music and it's an important part of your life? Didn't you mention in a post that Urban Trip was your favorite cover band? How very cultured. I'm guessing if that's the case then your favorite wine comes in a box. Jersey girls...

anne arkham said...

I agree that they have to be funny. That's a must.