Monday, September 26, 2005

Thank You

Everyone - THANK YOU. GREAT BIG HUGE SMOOCHIE POOCHIE's to each and everyone one of you that has emailed me personally or left comments about the whole Ted situation.

I'm feeling the love.

I want to explain myself just a little bit and then I'm going to try and attempt to close the subject. When I write on this website, I write "in the moment" - nothing is ever really mapped out, it flows out of me. What I went through in the beginning of this website was INSANO. It was ridiculous and I will NEVER go through anything remotely like that again. I can't. Nope. Not doing it. - what I'm trying to say is, yes, things were bad, but I never wrote about the good because it was the end of the relationship - your perspective is of course biased through my opinion. Kenny and I broke up/stopped dating because he read WAY too much into everything on this site and my other site and oh yeh, he did something he was told not to do, but that's neither here nor there.

Ted was someone I connected and bonded with. I think you all got that. Talking to him the last couple of days has been nice. I won't lie because I'm an awful liar and eventually I would screw up anyway with my stories. I spoke to him, and I even went as far as to see him over the weekend. It was....interesting to say the least. The friendship we had, was there - VERY strong and like home - same for the chemistry - I'm not going to lie. BUT - the smarts I lacked before were ever present and kept me at arms length. Thank GOD.

If anything comes of this new quasi-relationship - it will be two things - closure - and me regaining some of my finances that trickled through him. He has approached ME about repaying me back money and right now, I need it. Due to funds, this was an extremely boring weekend. Extremely boring, I mean I don't have anything worth mentioning here.

Anyway, I'm getting off point - I'm good. I want everyone to know my life is different and I'm different. I recognize faster, I'm more independent and I don't want to be with someone right now. I won't fall into any traps - how can I with friends like you guys? Seriously. If I wasn't already throwing up caution flags, I have about 20 of you doing it for me. Thank you so much.

I WILL be careful - I AM being careful. It was good to see him. It helped. AND if there is a reason to walk away from him and this....whatever it is between us...it will be easy. Easy breezy. You have no idea how easy it will be.

1 comment:

anne arkham said...

We do love you, and we're here if you need us.