Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Triple Hit Combo

In yesterday's post I wrote about a fall I had down in Atlantic City. I downplayed it, but this was the fall of all falls - it was insane and it caused a concussion to add to the inevitable hangover that followed the next morning. Worst. Headache. Ever.

A few things you need to know before I begin the story. First, I was recently separated from my husband and hanging out with a myriad of people, one of which was Carmine, our friend Pat and his girl Fran. I was also attending college at night and it was the beginning of the really nice weather in Spring. Also, Carmine had this completely fucked up, yet true, theory about women. It was his firm belief that there was a distinct similarity between women and birds. Yes...birds. And God forbid a woman actually looked like a bird, the stupid bird call would go out "Brrrrr brrrrr brrrrr nok nok nok brrrrrrr" - you get the idea. At work you could hear Carmine doing the bird call down the hall....it was funny, don't get me wrong, but stupid. It was even funnier when we were out drinking, but that's another story.

Anyway, one fine Thursday Spring evening I'm walking into class when my cell phone rings and its Carmine. Long story short, Pat's family was going to be down in Atlantic City and Pat, Fran and Carmine were headed down to join them. The family had two rooms reserved and they said we could crash in their rooms.

Fine by me! Meredith is ALWAYS up for an adventure! I went to class for a whopping half hour and cut out early. By 9:00 p.m. we were on the road and by midnight we had finally arrived.

Problem. The hotel completely fucked up the reservation, so instead of having two large suites between 9 people, we now had one large suite between 13. Good times. This did not poise the problem you all think it might have, largely due to the fact that 6 of these people were gambling all night long while the kids between the ages of 11 through 16 were galavanting around the hotels, restaurants, boardwalk and swimming pools.

Still semi-early enough for us to get our drink on, we dropped the bags off in the room and headed downstairs to find free liquor (because liquor is free as long as you "look" like your gambling). So off we went to join the festivities of free liquor and the slot machines.

Fast forward to about 5:00 a.m. and Mer is blind drunk looking for what else? More liquor. But at 5:00 a.m., waitresses are fucking hard to find, the only place to find one is near the tables, yet I couldn't find one. I was so completely wasted and pissed off about the waitress that I stopped a black jack game to ask the dealer for the Liquor Fairy. That's right, not a waitress, not a bartender, but the Liquor Fairy. This of course was funny to all of us, two of the players, but not the floor manager. Yikes he was pissed, but at least I got my liquor. (snicker snicker).

At some point that evening/morning we decided that it would be a good idea to head over to the Taj Mahal next door and the easiest and fastest way to do that was to walk outside on the Boardwalk. Ok, good enough. But when we went outside (still holding our drinks of course), it was raining. The walk was not far, but there was no way I was going to stroll the 100 or so feet to the next door. Thinking like a dillhole, I yell, "COME ON GUYS!!!! LET'S RUN!"

Freeze frame.

I was wearing 3 inch heels.

Annnddddd Action!

Mer is running in the rain, Pat, Carmine and Fran each standing befuddled and horrified at the next thing that happened. I have NO IDEA how it actually happened and most of it is a blur, but as it was explained to me so kindly by Carmine, I went down hard - knees, chest, head. I went down so incredibly hard that my head actually bounced back up and hit the Boardwalk a second time.


Carmine rushed over, lifted me off the ground and set me straight checking me over to make sure I was ok.


Eyes half closed, stupid smile on my face, I reply......"Duuuude....I've takin' harder hits in hockey."

I'm an asshole. I know this, but this goes to show you that it is VERY hard to keep me down. Whether I'm hurt on the inside or out, I bounce back well and guess what? As much pain as I was in, there was no way in hell the night was going to end there. GO HARD OR GO HOME BRO!!!! But that was by far the worst fall I've ever had, and that's NOT including my skiing accident - yet another tale to tell another time.

The story my friends does not end there.

At about 6:15-6:30 a.m. we decided to finally call it a night and head back to the room. We open the door and there are bodies sleeping EVERYWHERE. The bed, cots, the floor, cushions, chairs - there was almost no where to walk.

Carmine: "Fuck this, I've got dibs on the closet."

I'm thinking to myself - "Thanks for the idea Carmine - SUCKER!"

We all get ready for bed, Pat finds a spot next to his mother (of all people), not sure where Fran ended up, but Carmine and I each took seperate ends of the closet - which was uncomfortable so he offered up his belly as a pillow and I took it.

Now all is quiet in the room, everyone is uncomfortably in their places and Carmine decides to do a bird call from the closet. "Brrrr Brrr Brrr." - softyly, yet audibly.

"Pat. Stop that," says Pat's mom.
"Mom it wasnt' me."

Thirty seconds go by. "Brrrr Brrr Brrr."

"Pat. I said STOP that."
"Ma, it wasn't me!"

I'm laughing so hard I'm gonna pee, Carmine's got his hand over my mouth trying to contain me. Just one more call.........

"Brrr. Brrr."

"OUCH MA!!!"

The next day is a bit of a fuzz. I do remember riding home and thinking "Jesus, this is either the WORST hang over I've ever had or I have a concussion." - honestly, since there are moments I don't remember, it could have been a combination of the two. I will never know - but this I do know - that was a great friggin night and tons of fun. I think about that night and wonder how I didn't die from either alcohol poisioning or breaking my neck.

Every time I see Carmine, which isn't as often as I used to, at some point in time this story will come up and he has to tell at least one person. He now so affectionately refers to that fall as the Triple Hit Combo and has no problem talking about it upon request.

Good times.

1 comment:

NCTRNL said...

Seriously...I laughed my ass off when you said he was making bird noises in the closet. That is freaking hilarious...