Friday, July 01, 2005

Hung Over Again? Heaven's No, Not Mer.

"Good morning dad," barely audible.

"Huh? What?" stirring his coffee.

"I SAID, GOOD MORNING DAD!"

"Uh, oh yeh, good morning," moment of silence, then he looks up at me. "You ok?"

Blood shot eyes, pigtails, glasses on and an incredibly raspy voice, I reply, "Uh, yeh why?"

Mom comes out of bathroom, and father continues, "Well you uh, got home at like 2:00 this morning."

Extending hand and walking to mother, "Hi, my name is Meredith and not sure if you've noticed but I've been getting in at 2:00 am for the last 3 weeks."

End of discussion.

My parents kick ass. They actually think its funny that my nose is running, my eyes are full of pins and my face in contorted to look like I'm going to shit myself at any second. They know what I've been up to and why I look the way I do. They were young once, but they were fortunate to live in a cool city like New York.

Last night was indeed a good time. Lots of dancing, groping, being groped (whoops that was only me and Trixie) and of course drinking. Some very general things about last night:

  1. Met a new girl last night who is friends with Trixie, aside from saying hello and good bye, I could really give a rats ass about her. I made a few attempts to be nice and talk to her because she is a friend of Trixie's and Samantha's. But she still judged me all night and truly thought she was better than me (us). I know by the looks she gave me. I don't care if "that's the way she is" - it doesn't matter, her life has no impact on mine and therefore the discussion will end right there. Oh wait, no, one more thing, she looks like her face got hit by a truck, but that's her misfortune, not mine. - Mess with the bull, get the horns.
  2. Peter was there and actually tried hitting on a friend so H's told him to go home - which he did. Thank you H's - I will now allow you to fondle my boobs for a whole 30 seconds.
  3. H's is a good enough guy. Although I think he has a thing for Trixie, I don't think it is any more than the fact that he likes to throw her around - a lot. Him being 6'5" and her being only 5'2", I understand. Don't worry, he didn't leave me out - he's not a two timing jerk. I got kisses - lots of 'em.
  4. I do like kissing boys. I'm good at it and it helps me relax. Sue me.
  5. I would like to take the time to thank Trixie for fondling my boobs last night - I lost count after 4
  6. I would also like to tell Trixie that she has soft lips. - Ew, no tongue, just lips - stop thinking along those lines people!
  7. Trixie and I are much better singers when we are drunk. What is better than two hot broads on stage groping and gryrating while singing "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi?
  8. Sleeping in the fetal position after drinking all night is mandatory. Especially when you wake up at 5:15 with the urge to pee. God hates me, because why would he wake me up to pee?
  9. Drunk voicemails seem so much funnier when they are happening. I seem to laugh uncontrollably just because I think its so funny that I'm actually leaving a voicemail for someone to hear the next day. I also swear an awful lot which throws me into more fits of laughter. To Matt Lauer and B, I really don't know what to say other than, Please forward those messages to me? I'm still a little groggy from last night and I could use the laugh. Its all in good fun so I hope I didn't offend anyone.
  10. And lastly, I have to apologize now to H's for laughing at him, it went something like this.

"Thank you for the money, I really appreciate it. I'll pay you back tomorrow."

"No problem H. We're cool like that, just make sure you call me tomorrow."

"I will, but until then, this can hold you over" (or something to that effect).

He then proceeded to kiss me. Now I have to give the kid credit - he's a good kisser. WHOOP! OH BOY! But in mid kiss, I started to laugh (giggle) - in his mouth. He pulls away and asks,

"What's so funny?"

"That's what I get for my 20 bucks? Zeesh."

"Oh real funny Mer. That was messed up."

More fits of uncontrollable laughter. Mine and his. Its all good in Mer's hood, remember? So Sue me. Seriously, I had to get the upper hand of the situation. Ok well maybe I'm not that smart and conniving at 2:00 a.m., but I thought it was pretty funny.

3 comments:

Trixie said...

I may have fondled your boobs a few times last night, but you grabbed mine at one point too or did you forget???

Meredith said...

I'm not a virgin anymore to your boobs. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

NCTRNL said...

Looks like I missed out. It is funny when parents look at you and you can tell they're thinking...'I know they feel like shit because I felt like shit when I looked like that'...