Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Dear Mr. Hot Ass,

Not sure if you remember me, but I was the brunette making googly eyes with you all Saturday night. I have to say, as beautiful as you were, you seemed a little boring to me. Most men when at a club will make their way to their target, and although you and I were in the same vicinity on more than one occasion, and the fact that you kept looking at me, you still did nothing. This is not to say that after another beer or 2 I wouldn't have finally talked to you, but the little slutty bitch who chewed your ear off made it a little hard. I appreciate the fact that while you spoke to her, you still made eye contact with me and who knows, had Trixie not received a phone call from an old friend removing us from the club, we would have crossed paths and had sex....I mean crossed paths and spoke. But I have to say, even though you were quite the piece of hunka burning love, you didn't dance and that was a little weird - I mean, not even one hip thrust, not one twirl (although that would have been VERY gay), you just stood there and sipped your drink. Again, this is not to say that I would not have used you like a Raggetty Andy doll until your left arm was hanging and your winky had fallen off.

I do appreciate the fact that you kept looking though because, well because you are hot. The lesson learned Saturday night was that I have to act upon my thoughts a little more. So for that I am eternally grateful, for the next time I see an incredibly hot male specimen like yourself, making flirty eyes with me, I will be sure to jump on his head.

Forever Hot For You,


I hate doing a breakdown of the weekend, but I think I should mention that I met up with a potential suitor on friday night. He is someone that I've hung out with in the past and I was supposed to have a date with this week. But remember that thing about Mer making plans and they never go accordingly? Yeh it happened again. He has to travel this week so he asked to see me earlier, and not one to disappoint, I accepted. Its been almost a year since I've seen him and you know that saying about curiosity and The Cat.

What shall we name him huh? We'll refer to him from now on as David. David is much cuter that I remember. His smile is cute, he's tall and thin (remember I like 'em tall) and he's sweet. He lacks the bad boy image that I'm normally attracted to, but as we know, the bad boy hasn't worked out for me in the past so I'm trying something different. He has a good paying job and he just bought his first house. Problems? His house is about an hour away and he's a year younger than me. I'm not forcing the issue as he is very busy and I'm not ready for anything yet so this might work out for now. Trixie and I hung out with him for about an hour or so and then decided to split because the club we were at was missing something, it was lacking something that neither Trixie or myself could put our fingers on. I'm not overtly excited about him, but that's probably because we really didn't get to talk that much because it was so loud in there. But he's WAY into me as evidenced by him trying to get close to me - you know, hand on my knee, dancing closely, hand on my side when we walked around. That all caught me a bit off guard, but it wasn't creepy, it was cute. I just hope the cute factor doesn't ruin it for him. Do you get what I'm saying when I say the cute factor might ruin it? It means that we all want what we can't have and having him would be too easy. But again, I'm trying something different. Not sure if I'll talk to him this week or not since he'll be away on business. So we'll keep him on the back burner and move on.

I said this to my friend Jay the other day. I told him that I flip between wanting to be with someone and not wanting to be with a guy. Its weird. When I say that I saw Mr. Hot Ass at the club, I really was enticed by him, but I don't know, I wasn't all that upset that I didn't get to speak to him. I don't want to be one of those girls who constantly needs someone in their life. I don't want to be one of those girls who has to be the center of attention at all times with guys swooning all over me. I like who I am and I want to be strong. I want to only depend on me because as Jay said, then there are no disappointments. I agree - totally. I think that at some point in time I will be 100% ready, but not now. Sure I've made out with a few boys, but that was all for fun and to feel desirable. But guess what? I am desireable, I am wanted, doesn't mean that I have to act upon it with every guy that shows interest. I've decided to be a little more picky. Yes David is very nice and that's why I'm going to give it a shot, but I don't want to push anything. He'll call when he calls, we'll have our date when the time is right, because again, I'm not ready for anything.

This is not to say that I won't write about the men I meet and I won't giggle over the flirting situation because flirting is healthy. No more are the days that I will shake my ass just to get attention, I'll shake my ass because I like it when Trixie smacks it and it makes us both giggle.

Plus, I need to do the things that I keep talking about. I want to take horseback riding lessons - I found another stable near by and I plan on calling it to see if they give lessons. I also want to take the photography class - perhaps I can take it at school toward my degree. Not sure, I'll have to check into that. I also want to take the singing lessons that I've been wanting to take since I was 12. I'll do these things. I'm just afraid of meeting a man and getting so caught up in him that I forget the things I love most. Its happened before. But at least I recognize this, perhaps my focus will be much better now that I'm aware. Only time will tell.

With 100.6 fever coursing through me right now, I think its time I stop rambling on like a nutcase. Its the first time in 2 days I've been out of bed so please forgive the rambling.

1 comment:

NCTRNL said...

I'm glad I am not the only one who goes back and forth like that. I have been single for a while now and sometimes I don't have any motivation at all to meet someone. At other times, it is the complete opposite. Good lord I confuse myself...