Let's Talk About Sex Now, To the People at home or in the crowd, it keeps coming up anyhow, don't be coy, avoid or make void the topic because that ain't gonna stop us......
- Salt & Peppa
Been doing the ol' thinking thing again. This time about sex.
See, next week I'll be going on a date with a new guy. I've known him for a little while. Anyway, one of my posts the other day discusses the topic of "how do I have fun and remain a good girl?" This is a problem. See I have no problem doing the whole "Sex in the City" thing - where if I want to have sex, so be it. But I don't want to ever feel cheap or used because of it. I'm not that strong. God I wish I could be frivolous like that, but I don't want to be left with the ick factor later.
Twice since I broke up with Ted I have had golden opportunities and twice I've said no go (and when I say opportunities, I mean with two different men). Although I was in the throws of passion, (WHOOP! Oh BOY!), something told me no. The prude in me came out full force. I hate that. I wish I could thumb my nose, but I was brought up better than that. I would be disappointed in myself if I spread my legs for every guy I made out with. Yikes, that was harsh huh? But I'm the type of girl, that once you and I go "there", I want to go "there" every. single. time. I'm hopeless or just horny - your choice.
I'm not feeling very well today. I think its PMS, but I'm not sure. I don't feel good, I don't feel pretty, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. But I'm sure once I shower again later and get ready for the festivities tonight I'll perk up. If not, I'll just have to drink way too much, make out with someone much younger than me, and be a complete ass in front of about 70 people I don't know. Oh wait, that's every week.
Went to the gym the last couple of days and I'm starting to get the ol' gym fever thing again. When this happens I'll be at the gym every time I get bored, which is a good thing. I have this whole plan that I'll get back to my goal weight and then I'll have to become famous.
Now don't make fun of me, I want to be an actress. But I know that the chances of that happening are exactly 3%. Only 3% of those who try to make it in the business actually do. That's ok with me, as long as I give it a shot. I've been told that I'm actually a good actress (taken classes and been in a few plays). But this is the plan - I think I can do the whole Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise thing, but for me it would be with Brad Pitt. What do you think? Just kidding. (I was never a big Brad Pitt fan, but he's getting divorced and Uh remember the whole Troy movie thing? Yeh consider me one of the converted).
I even have my entourage picked out. B will be my manager and personal assistant. But since he'll be so busy I'll also need Trixie to be my personal assistant, but on the personal side - B will do more business ended stuff. Samantha will be my personal hairdresser and I'm sending my good friend Kelly out to learn how to do make up and nails because at this moment in time she doesn't know how to do that and I need to have her in my entourage. I'll hire Matt Lauer to be head of security (this is your job offer now Matt) and that about sums it up right now. Of course I'll have a little house on my property for B to live in as he is the oldest member of my entourage - I even conducted an interview with B already. It went something like this:
We are sitting in his office - him behind his desk, me in the guest chair.
"So B, you interested in being my personal assistant when I get rich and famous?"
"Yep. That would be sick."
"Ok, but first, what are your qualifications - besides the fact that you went to Penn State."
"I'm very detailed oriented."
See I'm an easy boss. Of course another one of his duties would be to make sure that I don't make out with anyone at these celebrity parties - unless they are an "A" lister, then its all good in Mer's hood.
One last thing. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I play with fire. H and I hang out every Thursday, not that's its always planned like that, it just happens that way. And we are in NO WAY dating or anything - we get drunk, we hook up and that's about it. If he wants more, he'll have to voice his want because I'm not a mind reader and I'm not in the business of training anyone.
But I opened my trap yesterday to Marcus and invited him (don't worry, I'm SOOOO over him), but I'm putting my best foot forward and inviting him - plus he's friends with MC who on occasion talks to Trixie. Plus it would be nice to become friends.
In summary, two guys that I have ruthlessly made out with are going to be in the same room together tonight (maybe). Marcus doesn't' have a chance in hell, although there is still a part of me that wants to be more than friends, that's all I'm offering right now. He burned his bridge with me. Which is sad because we had a ton of crap in common. But whatevs. AND, one of the little itty bitty's that hit on me at H's party the other day is supposed to come as well. Whew, all this male testosterone around me - don't know if I can handle it. Well I'm going to die trying.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Smoochie Poochie's all - MISS ME!!!!!