Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Old Flames Die Hard

You are all being blessed with yet another blog entry today. Oh yes, but this one is not sad. Its actually a reflection. Today I heard from an old flame, we'll call him.....Merni. I just HAD to write about this.

Merni was a senior when I was a freshman in high school. From our first week of meeting there was something and we started dating - or "talked" is the proper lingo - I guess on and off for an entire year. I'd like to remind him though that I was not his first choice. He actually liked my friend "Beatice" first. Something I hope he feels stupid for because, well I'm me and I'm better - this is my blog so shut up.

Why do I mention him after all this time? Why is it that our paths tend to cross 14 years later? Because he was for me and I for him the relationship that almost happened.

Merni for whatever reason thought he was a player and a player he was. I was naive and young and believed the BS he threw my way. I was a virgin and was not AT ALL schooled in the ways of a sexual goddess - but we all know that has changed...he he he. Picture the typical Vampire meets Virgin scenario...yep that was us. He had an arrogance and presence not known to many high school boys. Destined for his own greatness Merni has not disappointed. For me he was racey and sexy in his own right and there was mystery. He created this well practiced illusion very well, and he protected a sweetness that not many got to see, or still get to see. Some might view this as cocky or even a little weird, but Merni was a good guy nonetheless. I know this because one of my pictures still hangs in his office 'til this day.

I'm not really sure why our relationship never materialized. Looking back now it could be a lot of things. At first I was just scared because he was such a player. He wanted to be "the man" in my eyes, which I obliged with no problem. I was wary of his intentions. I wanted to believe that he truly liked me for me, but he never let down his facade. When you looked into his brown eyes, you could see the wheels turning, the next move, the poker face. He would give me a small glimpse but never anything substantial - his arrogance wouldn't allow himself to show me his soft underbelly, thus his lose for something real. I held back a sexual prowess that so badly wanted out - I was scared of being hurt, which totally would have happened had I not been careful. I think that if he was real with me just once he could have had me forever. But hey, we'll never know.

After he graduated we still talked every once in a while. I started dating George and well that was it.....for the time being. Our timing I guess was never right after that, or perhaps I was over him and his games. I don't know, I haven't put that much thought into it. All I know is that when I think about the stupid high school games I smile. I don't frown because it wasn't malicious. After all, we were kids.

Merni is now married with a baby on the way and God bless him because his dreams are coming true. He suffered a small set back recently when he was laid off from work, but he always lands on his feet so I'm not worried. Also knowing Merni he has a little money stashed for a rainy day. He'll be fine, I'll bet our friendship on it.

I'm content with our on again off again friendship because he really will always have a place in my heart. I'm always curious to know what's going on with him and how things turn out. He is a continuous chapter in my life. Is this a tragic love that never happened? Will we still think about each other until we are old and gray? I don't know that, only time will tell.

And Merni, to answer your question, yes, I no longer have braces and no I haven't had any complaints since.


asdjlfajlajskldfgajslkfgasnlmkganlkafsjnklasfnklganasnjlasnjlnjlanafsnjlafbnjlasfbnjlabfnjlfabsnjlaf said...

well, this was amusing. . .everyone around me was wondering why I was laughing so hard. This girl knows me better than my wife. . .how sad. Well I have to say, I think of you as a love lost and I think because I was the senior and you were the freshman, highschool antics were definately involved, but i never forgot you or could never forget you. Lets go forward in our on-off friendship, you never know when we can need eachother in the future. Your awsome. . .O yea the Dollar sign picture is not the only picture i have hanging, the Jets sign you made me has been hanging over my desk a long time. . .

Meredith said...

I forgot about the Jets sign. I don't think I remember it. Anywho, hope you keep up with the blog. Forward onward, I could use some exposure. And yes Merni, a place in my heart and a place in my thoughts you shall remain. Looking forward to seeing you July 2nd. I'll make sure I wear something extra purty to make sure you know what you missed out on. He he he

Matt said...

And so you can try and make his wife jealous? Yeah I know how you women are... :)

asdjlfajlajskldfgajslkfgasnlmkganlkafsjnklasfnklganasnjlasnjlnjlanafsnjlafbnjlasfbnjlabfnjlfabsnjlaf said...

I would start a blog of my own, but they would have to shut down the website because of to many people wanting to read it. Before you know it I will be all over People Magazine. . .Anyway. . .Off to lunch.