Friday, June 10, 2005

"That's Lovely Perfume." "Nope, that's my Mojo"

"I'm Foxy Cleopatra and I'm a WHOLE LOTTA WOMAN!!!"

Yeh that's me. I don't even know how to start this post, but I have to tell you, last night was a good time. My MOJO is back in full swing and I didn't even know it.

The night started out with margarita's and a good bye party for my friend Liz. I'm so jealous, she's leaving here to go work at a magazine in the city - how Mary Tyler Moore. How adventurous, HOW COOL! I feel bad that I had to leave early, but I accidentally was double booked. But I made the effort to see her because I like her and I wish her well.

From there I met up with Cheryl and some other people to go to a bar. Needless to say I was all over the place. Cute guys and my mojo, hhhhmmmmm I wonder where this is going?

I got to smooch two of my three favorite guys (and when I say smooch, just lips, sorry to disappoint), Johnny Longwood and H's (Yes these are names to protect the innocent). My other favorite wasn't there so I didn't get the chance, but he wouldn't have anyway, he can restrain himself from my devices. I think he's the only one and he knows who he is.

I shall now proceed to give you background info on both Johnny Longwood and H's - I hope I do them justice.

Johnny Longwood (giggle giggle) and I played softball together for the past 4 years now. He's my height, he's cute, Great personality, funny, and really mellow. About 2 years ago, shortly after I started dating Ted, we went for a beer run after one of the games. Picture this, we are already feeling nice and we're walking through the walk-in cooler at the liquor store. We are TOTALLY doing the flirty flirty (I could teach a class in flirty flirty) and he turns to me with his pelvis out and says,

"Mer you better stop. Look what you are doing to me."

I turn around and sure enough there is a nice size bulge in his pants. I yelp and laugh "Ewwwwww" more giggling on both our parts. He looks at me and tilts his head downward showing me his smoldering Brad Pitt look and says all serious and sexy to me,

"Mer come here......Check this out. Its big. Just touch it once...... Come on."

Ok so shit like this doesn't happen to Mer everyday - ok well maybe it does happen every so often, but I'm outgoing and I'll usually try things at least once - plus the bulge looked interesting, I was drinking and it was very daring and not something I would normally do. So I did what any self respecting broad with a few beers in her would do, I ran my hand up the front of his pants. IT WAS BIG!! It was long and I screamed/giggled and ran full speed down the aisle laughing and squealing all the way - THANK GOD WE WERE IN A COOLER because the heat got kicked up a notch. I don't know what would have happened had the manager not come in and interrupted us. We laughed hysterically as we paid for our beer and left.

I had totally forgotten about that incident until the other day. Of course its two years later and he has a girlfriend, BUT, we discussed it last night, we definitely need to have sex one of these days, even if its just to get it out of our systems.

Now over to H's.

H's is 6'5" and the tallest, skinniest mother fucker I've ever met. Seriously, when he turns sideways he disappears. But he is SUCH A GOOD TIME. First time I met him was at a bowling alley. I had been drinking and mistook him for a poll to lean on. I held on to him for dear life all night long, something he was more than happy to do as he looked down my shirt at my fabulous set of ta ta's all night. Did I mention I have an awesome rack?

Second time I saw H's (kind of), I was hanging out with "Peter", it was about 1:00 am and I wanted to see H's. We call up H's and he tells us to drive by his place. Upon pulling up to the house all we see is H's white ass hanging out the window. Now that was funny.

Last night I made sure I got to smooch both of them....more than once. For whatever reason my behavior is accepted by many - its just me. I'm bubbly, I'm funny, I'm outgoing, a little zany, well maybe a lot zany and a fucking KICK ASS time. So when I turn to one of my guy friends and tell them to smack me a smooch, they don't find it odd and they are more than happy to oblige (good for me right?) My girl friends are the same way - but I don't kiss them, I have smooched one of them, but sorry my stories will NEVER go there, I don't bat that side of the plate. Although Cheryl did touch my boob last night - I'm telling ya, they are irresistible.

Where was I? Oh, Johnny Longwood has wonderful pouty lips. He's the best kisser of his brother's (there are 3 brothers total). I've never done the tongue thing with them, but he applies just the right amount of pressue with his supple lips. He's yummy like soft ice cream on a hot summer day. The kind that melts and drips down the cone onto your hands. You just want to lap it up with your tongue and make slurpy slappy sounds with your lips. Oh yeh baby!

Now as for H - I was actually pleasantly surprised by H's kiss. I got to kiss him two or three times, did I mention we were drinking? (Side note: guys I NEVER drink, I mean in the two years that I was with Ted, I can count the times I drank on one hand). He was totally digging me and I him. Relationship material, definitely not. Booty call, hhhmmmm I might have to entertain that idea. . Its got to be his height and the fact that he is fucking funny as hell and being funny is a HUGE turn on for me. But that will come later on, I feel like I'm still in mourning. To tell you the truth, I can't believe I was kissing anyone last night. But that's boring and depressing so 'nuff of dat. Plus I have a couple of other back burners that I would hit before him.....maybe. My one guy, he's got to know its him, well that would probably be more interesting, but I would suffer a lose of friendship if something happened so I won't go there. Big NO NO. Although I really want to jump on his head too, but I know it won't happen so that makes it even more fun (Playing with fire again huh Mer?)

For you men out there, yes women have booty calls. Although I am not a professional in the arts of booty calls, I have had one before. It wasn't worth it and I called it quits early. I won't tell you who it was, sorry, I can't. If I talk about it in the slightest, people will know who it was and I can't afford that. Anyway, I'm thinking Booty calls might be the avenue to take for a little while this summer. They're fun, there is no emotion and its summer. I'm SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.

I'm such a teasing vixen, I love it. Too bad I'm too much of a goody goody, if I weren't I'd be dangerous, I know this already. I have this very innocent quality about me, but the sex oozes off of me with no effort. I can't help it, sometimes my mojo is like perfume - or honey.

I will admit, I was a little overboard last night, but I let out a lot of steam, but it was replaced with sexual tension. I haven't felt a man's touch in over 3 months and I'm starting to itch. I want to take it slow and make sure that I don't do something stupid, but I also push the envelope and play with fire. Merni will attest to that. I'm an innocent, but when you talk to me, you know something wicked is going on in my noggin. You KNOW I have the potential to be a bad girl, a VERY bad girl. Not spank me bad......well you never know, but its the school girl syndrome thing - naughty and nice smashed together in a train wreck. Now that's a more accurate description of me. I've been told by both Beth and Rich that I'm sexy, that I don't try, its just there. I'll have to take their word for it. I think I'm a goofball.

1 comment:

bob a. booey said...

geez, what happened to my merni. . .